everything could be so loud.

[source.]

let me illustrate this via youtube. this first video is their performance of their song ‘head full of doubt, road full of promise’ at the grammys last year.  immediately before their performance, however, mumford and sons performed ‘the cave’ and then they both joined in on bob dylan’s performance.

‘what??’

i know, right?

and the second video is a performance of their song ‘talk on indolence,’ which is quiet different.

and then my face melted.

still good. but not my favorite.

these, however, are my favorites…

‘As an urban historian & photographer, I try to peel back the layers of a city to see what’s underneath. From the tops of bridges to the depths of sewer tunnels, these explorations of the urban environment help me puzzle together the interconnected, multi-dimensional history and complexity of the world’s great cities.’

- steve duncan.

i recently watched the following video and was blown away by the extreme measures that this urban historian takes to see and to study the things that he does.  from deep in the subways of new york city to the top of the williamsburg bridge, the incredible and virtually unknown sites in such a populated city are just staggering.

to learn more about steve duncan and his urban exploration, visit his website here.

whatever. they love it.

until i have the wherewithal to write something real, here are a few pictures that have slipped through the cracks.

until next time.

there is just something about cello music that is just so damn calming. i’ve always been a perfectionist, which my parents trace back to my hair having to be absolutely perfect for gymnastics practice.  i just could not have any bumps in my ponytail.   and once i got to the age that i could do my hair on my own, i spent hours trying to make the perfect ponytail.  and one afternoon, after a particularly stubborn bump wouldn’t flatten out – i simply cut it off.  and then had an interesting bang situation, which was clearly the precursor to layered haircuts.

you’re welcome.

the point is that sometimes the expectations that you set for yourself can be overwhelming.  after i first discovered zoë keating, i would play her music while i was studying for an exam, writing a complex paper for class in the middle of the night, or before any really stressful event, and i felt better.  as if everything would eventually settle down and there would be order again after the chaos, which seems to be strikingly similar to the way that keating creates. layering numerous bits of improvisations, she finds a balance and creates incredibly diverse sounds with just her cello.

as i was reading about zoë keating, in preparation for this post, i found an article on npr that shed some light on why i might find her music so calming.  apparently keating was also affected by her own perfectionism.

“suddenly i’m like, ‘how am i doing this? this seems really difficult. how am i doing this?’ and then, soon enough, [i] wouldn’t be able to play the cello,” keating says, laughing.

she also found herself stunted by stage fright when playing classical music. and eventually, she began improvising and experimenting with her sound, and that freedom from constraints released her nerves and she began to create incredible music.  and that is just beyond impressive.

so we did.

water and sumi ink on paper.

sumi ink and oil paint on paper.

and on film…

mark making with nature.

‘i hope that my painting has the impact of giving someone,

as it did for me, a feeling of his own totality,

of his own separateness, of his own individuality.’

- barnett newman.

formerly known as a ‘camera.’

i also love the fact that you have no idea what your pictures will look like – or you might actually forget what you took pictures of, or when you took said pictures.  the following photos are from our austin trip, during which we never actually took photos of austin… just the emptiness and nature between cities.

i had two rolls of film developed yesterday, so there are many more random photographs to come. enjoy.

film > digital.

this is not about mumford & sons. although i do love them and this super quick french version of awake my soul, they are too obvious. see that guy playing fiddle in the video? that is johnny flynn and i have loved him for quite a while now.

i don’t even know how to describe their sound. pained? surely. folk? that sounds so lame. but there are definitely banjos… so… yes? as i’ve been googling i’ve read terms like ‘brit-folk’ and ‘whimsy’. both are stupid.  there’s truth in their music – the lyrics deal with things that you and i might have experience with a great deal of sophistication that one might find in british literature. and the speed of the music and depth of the words bear a striking resemblance to the way your mind might work through some of your problems whether it be on a train going somewhere or as you lay in bed unable to sleep… only with a banjo.

‘it’s obvious that he’s absorbed a great deal of poetic clout from the old English texts he’s spent so long enacting– notice how he cleverly uses the written-letter motif of “The Wrote and the Writ” to offer sly insight into love, loss, and religious faith.’

- the hurst review.

other than sunshine, smartass.

the correct answer is brownies. if you have strong feelings about brownies, or even vague feelings about chocolate you should really make these.

best cocoa brownies.

10 tablespoons unsalted butter.

1 1/4 cups sugar.

3/4 cup + 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder.

1/4 teaspoon salt.

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract.

(or whatever. because a little, or a lot of extra vanilla never hurt anyone. note to self… buy more vanilla.)

2 large eggs, cold.

1/2 cup flour.

some chopped walnuts for toppings? or a little flaky sea salt??

in a bowl mix up your sugar, cocoa, salt, and butter.  then put the bowl in a pan of simmering water.

note: this takes forever and is stupid.

damn.

i love smitten kitchen and all, and i get a little carried away with the simplistic font and the incredible pictures on the blog, its just so damn stylized. but… there was no reason for me having to put a bowl of cocoa and sugar and butter over a simmering pot of water.   i enjoy the process of baking as much as the next gal,  (or guy. #feminism) but a microwave works just fine.

get over yourself.

alright. now stir in your vanilla. and then add in your eggs one at a time and stir like crazy in between to make sure that they get all incorporated and gooey.

now comes my favorite part. adding in the flour.

i really just love the way that flour makes batter fold over onto itself and get really piecey and weird, before it dissipates into the batter.

DON’T TASTE TEST. DO YOU WANT TO GET SALMONELLA!?

just kidding.

salmonella isn’t real!

yikes.

anyway, while you are taste testing, let me tell you about the adventurous part of this recipe.

see – i hate cutting brownies, they never turn out straight and someone is always complaining about how they don’t have the same sized brownie as someone else and did you have to put walnuts on all of them?? and wouldn’t just rather eat the brownie edges anyway? because we all know that that is the best part.

but i completely refuse to invest in something like this…

but i love the commercial, because no one ever has that much trouble with brownies.

anyway, it hit me while i was googling recipes and watching parks and recreation. i did receive individual silicone cupcake bakeware thingys for christmas… so… why the hell not.

fill the cups less than half full and put on a cookie sheet.  no need to spray or parchment paper anything.

bake for 18-20 minutes at 325 degrees and then wait for them to cool completely before you try to take them out of the little silicones, or else they will just break down the middle and you’ll get all frustrated and disregard the fact that you have just made the most delicious brownies that anyone has thought of ever in the world.

IT WORKED.

coincidentally, you could do this with one of these brownies.

ENJOY.

but forget that.

my friends are my friends whether they are two blocks away or in a completely different part of the country, or a different part of the world for that matter. so i will not apologize for getting excited over the joys and small (or big!) victories in their lives. and i would expect nothing less from them.

remember that time that i’m a sorority girl? well, in sororities there exists a sisterhood yes? yes. within that greater sisterhood, you have the pledge family. now, my definition of a ‘pledge mom’ or to be politically correct… one’s ‘big’ is that she’s your connection with the chapter on a very personal level. she spoils you with gifts during pledge mom week and sends little surprises without revealing her identity. and then, at the end of ‘pledge mom week’ (or… ‘little week??’) she reveals her identity and the new member is welcomed into her new family. and through her lineage she has a direct connection with a sister from each class, and therefore, gets to know more people, faster.

pledge families are my favorite thing. those hugs at the end of pledge mom week when you greet your little one are the most genuine and i remember each one of mine perfectly.

but pledge family or not, i love you all, xi.

‘what a sap.’

shut up.