the road. day one.

we left on wednesday morning as soon as we shoved all of my belongings into an honest-to-goodness-i-will-cut-you-if-you-make-my-kids-late-for-soccer-practice-mom van. complete with those seats that fold down into the floor, doors that you can’t slam fingers in, and that little curved mirror near your rearview mirror that lets you watch your kids whine from the drivers seat. brilliant.

anyway – around 9:00 or so, i left my keys on the front table of my apartment that was made of dreams and starlight, and had the door locked behind me.

this is where i survived snowmageddon.

no thats not my u-haul. ew. but i like the encouragement.

after buying out starbucks, we headed south.

and i took a lot of pictures of the buckingham fountain as we got stopped in traffic.

but i completely forgot to take a picture of the skyline because there was an accident – and then we missed our exit, and almost went to indiana (ew – no thank you), probably because i was singing ‘my baby takes the morning train,’ and my dad was trying to drown me out with the radio. rude.

‘hey this is a great karaoke song! but… i only do karaoke in asia.’

as we made our way through the corn fields or whatever, my dad told me all about his life when he was my age. the best stories involve fashion (or lack there of) as my grandfather wore a green leisure suit to my dad’s college graduation, and his uncle wore a white one to my parent’s wedding. you know… so he could blend in with the white tuxes that everyone else wore.

missouri? hard to say.

as we neared the fairer side of the mason-dixon line, the stories of the mythical hick family became more colorful and lively. so we decided to stop in the old country. which is of course… arkansas.

‘we used to play on propane tanks as kids – saddle em up like they were a goddamn horse!’

we got off the comfortable highway in the middle of nowhere to go further into the middle of nowhere.

‘ew. clean that windshield!’

whatever y’all, the world is a buggy place. just wait til louisiana.

‘st. francis arkansas – population 250.’ ‘hey! they added some folks!’

so we arrived in piggott, arkansas, which is home to about as many people as i went to high school with. it is located in clay county, which my dad (and consequentially my brother?) was named for? cute. i googled it when i got back to civilization and found that 98.59% of the town is white. what is that even like? creepy. thats what.

as we drove around we saw some pretty incredible things, including my dad’s cousins’ law office (who may or may not be the judge now), the house that my great grandmother lived in for her entire life, and something, which can only be explained with a photograph…

i, too, frequently park my 18 wheeler in my front yard.

as we drove around the town about five times in twenty minutes, i heard all about my dad’s relatives: theresa (tree-sa), norma irene (normareen), robbie lee (robbalee), and hillard.  apparently these are all names. although no one really knows us there… everyone kept waving at us. apparently they are so bored and so friendly that they don’t have anything better to do than greet some folks visitin’ from texas.

‘ten minutes off the highway and you go back 30 or 40 years in time.’


lol, indeed.

‘what day is it anyway? wednesday? oh boy! its church night! we are in the bible belt now honey!’

and then we hightailed it out of there, before we were trapped in time.


the nothingness is actually quite beautiful. for a little.

we stopped to pick up some food in nearby town. just across the border, the bustling metropolis of kennett, missouri is home to about 11,000 people. they have a walmart and a wendys… thats about it.

‘everyone is staring at me.’

‘they probably think you’re a movie star.’

 #mixedgirlproblems

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One thought on “the road. day one.

  1. Pingback: i know, i know, i know. « the credibility gap.

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