“its a random day in paradise”
or a shopping trip that quickly became a cartoon.
solutions for #mixedgirlproblems?
as i was waiting in line i glanced to the side and saw something horrifying:
anyway if you’ve never gone shopping with me, you don’t know my favorite game.
the i-like-all-of-the-embarrassing-items game.
‘do i need an aggressively cheetah jumpsuit? wait, do you think this comes in zebra?’
‘i like this romper because you can dress it up with heels or dress it down with a good sparkle flat.’
basically, i love the horrified looks that people give me, and i love when my shopping mates play along.
today i picked up this dress and held it close to me, admiring the sparkling taffeta.
and just as i moved on to a trainwreck in the next aisle a girl pulled the purple tent of sparkle taffeta from the rack and gasped, showing it to her sisters, mother, and aunt who were shopping with her. they looked at it longingly.
i burst into silent laughter and hid behind a bunch of other hideous dresses, tapping my mother’s arm, making sure that she witnessed the scene in all its glory.
because they weren’t kidding.
‘well honey, i do love that dress… but i think it’s for a more… buxom lady.’
– the most bless-you-heart comment i’ve ever heard in real life
translation: you don’t quite fill out that dress well.
translation of translation: you’re flat chested honey.