or things that happened when i relieved the sassy receptionist for her lunch hour.
this was the happiest moment of my life.
two bros walked into the museum, wearing neon and baseball caps, looking medium hungover at two in the afternoon, and asked about the exhibition. they then walked up to one of the paintings in the lobby and discussed it in hush tones. bros like contemporary art. what a shock.
the best blog in the world would be: bros looking at art.
a little while later a man wearing a low cap and a t-shirt that said ‘SILENCE IS GOLDEN’ with the I’s replaced with guns walked into the gallery. he walked with intimidation and a stern look on his face.
and i thought ‘great. i’m going to get murdered on my first day at the desk.’
the blood drained from my face. that is, until he opened his mouth to speak to me.
‘hello ma’am, i wondered if i couldn’t bother you with a question.’
what. a. drawl.
‘oh its no bother at all! how can i help you?’
he needed a brochure to bring back to his brother who was taking a contemporary art class i gathered. i showed him several, explaining what each one covered. he ended up picking one based on the cover illustration.
‘wow. i like this. i may have to come back to see this… uh… work?’
‘yeah.. right.’ [sheepish giggle] ‘exhibition. well, thank you very much ma’am.’
somehow ma’am and guns on your tee shirt don’t match.
in sharp contrast to the aforementioned characters, two rather country men walked into the museum.
the one that was really good looking, in a kind of rugged way – the kind that would only need a cowboy hat to be a ranch-hand.
‘hi there ma’am. we’re here to see ____, oh never mind he’s right there. thank you.’
what? but i didn’t do anything.
why are you thanking me? oh, right. southern.
and then later as he walked out, he made a point of turning to me and in quite a drawl said.
‘thank you ma’am, i appreciate it.’
and i swear if he had had a hat it would’ve tipped.
later, in the quiet museum surrounded by massive monochromatic paintings, contemplative visitors, and a guard, a little girl ran towards the huge circular couch in the center of the gallery and launched herself into the cushions.
future performance artist.