this has gone too far.

as you all know, this past friday was the much awaited black friday, when everyone upholds their holiday cheer and calmly shops for items on their family’s wish list.

or rather stampedes and maces people.

anyway, i try to stay away from all that mess, so i don’t have much to report on that. however, i did go to toys r us the other day to buy a bear to donate to charity and i saw some incredible (and horrifying) things while i was there.

wait. wow. a gustav klimt barbie? thats the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen.

and princess grace? lovely and timeless.

oh.

now, who on earth is going to buy a beverly hill billies doll?

twilight and princess grace barbies should NEVER be put on the same aisle let alone the same level.

and could you at least pack him a shirt? come on.

speaking of preteen sex symbols…

can i just say that the real justin biebs wouldn’t be caught dead in that all white ensemble??

and those tickets are nowhere near to scale.

but thank god they got his hair right.

WHAT? why does your doll have to also be a video camera?

remember paper dolls? we loved that shit. why complicate it?!

and stickers?? stickers were the best.

also hamsterdance.com,  remember that??

it was like the second website ever. true facts.

but not these kind of stickers. nothing like tramp stamps for your children.

MUST BE OVER THE AGE OF THREE.

they will go really well with…

your little girl’s wing tipped eye liner and chola lip liner.

AHHHHH.

and then she can play house with her ken doll.

she can train him to whisper sweet nothings of her choice in her ear… in a lifeless, animatronic voice.

not unlike your real boyfriend.

HA.

but that’s terrifying – who wants to be sweet talked by a robot?

unless its T-Pain.

I WANT THIS SO MUCH.

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